Emigration isn’t just about changing your address. Often, it’s a choice made in difficult circumstances. And along with suitcases, we carry not only our belongings but also anxiety, loss, and doubt. One of the most common companions on this journey is guilt.

What do we carry with us into emigration?

«I left my homeland, but they stayed behind.»

«I’m safe, but there’s still a war back home.»

«I’m doing well here… but it feels like I don’t have the right to be.»

This is survivor’s guilt. Guilt for safety. Guilt for choosing something different. It takes many forms, but its root is the same: the loss of familiar ground and the struggle to find your place in a new world.

With this comes a deep sense of being split in two: here and there. It feels like your life is divided – between past and present, between home and the new environment, between other people’s expectations and your own needs.

This is normal.

It’s not weakness.

It’s human.

The process of emigration – whether across borders or within your own country – often comes with an internal ban: Don’t live well. Don’t be happy. Don’t go out and enjoy life – because others are still suffering.

«I used to think that if I constantly scrolled the news and tracked every missile strike, I’d somehow be helping. But that’s not how it works…»

Where does guilt come from?

When we go through a crisis, the nervous system doesn’t just go into defense mode – it also registers connection. If I’m safe and my friend isn’t, my body interprets that as a threat to our bond. Our brain and body are wired for connection – we’re social beings. When that connection breaks – through death, war, loss – the nervous system experiences it as a threat to life itself, even when the body is safe. And this creates pain, which we call guilt. But this isn’t moral guilt. It’s a biological response to broken attachment and loss of control.

It’s not that you did something wrong. It’s that you couldn’t change what happened – and yet you survived it. And that’s incredibly hard to bear. It’s your nervous system trying to make sense of chaos.

How to reconnect with yourself?

To cope with this, you don’t need to punish yourself. You need to help your nervous system feel connection and safety again. This can be done slowly – through the body, through being with another person, through therapy.

Therapy can be a space where you explore these feelings without judgment. Where you can gently untangle what truly belongs to you and what are roles you’ve taken on. Because emigration isn’t only about loss. It’s also about possibility – The chance to build a life where you have space. Without guilt. Without pressure. With the right to feel supported.